Fall is quickly approaching, & my body is craving routine. I'm finally back to organized workouts this week after recovering from the 100k, and my 2nd and 3rd jobs will be ramping up in the coming weeks. Stay tuned for a report on a mountain adventure- Dr.H's first weekend off is a short 4 days away!
We had a baby in our apartment for 5 nights. The tornado that is my 19 month old niece had me wrapped around her cute little fingers for 4 full days. I discovered that unripe tomatoes can be used as toy balls, & my top picks on netflix now include Strawberry Shortcake's Itty Bitty Adventures & Air Buddies. I went down a slide for the first time in about 20 years, & I now know my tiny car can fit a carseat in the back. The take home after 4 days of playing 24/7 aunt- kids change EVERYTHING. I imagine it's this weird feeling of wanting to pull your hair out, & at the same time never wanting to leave them. I'm not sure it's a feeling I want to tackle alone during Dr.Hottie's residency, but only time will tell. In the meantime- stay healthy ovaries! Speaking of Dr. Hottie- I've already started a countdown for the burn rotation. One week down, 7 to go. The call nights are atrocious. Last Friday he left the house at 4:30am, came home at 7pm, left at 8pm, came home at 10:00pm, left at 11:30pm, came home at 2:30, left at 4:30am for the next full day at work. I told him next time he should just stay and try get some zzz's in the call room, but I'm sure anyone prefers a comfy bed at home to the pasty walls of the sick institution.
Fall is quickly approaching, & my body is craving routine. I'm finally back to organized workouts this week after recovering from the 100k, and my 2nd and 3rd jobs will be ramping up in the coming weeks. Stay tuned for a report on a mountain adventure- Dr.H's first weekend off is a short 4 days away!
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Last week was Dr. Hottie's first vacation week of 2nd year, and it's safe to say we squeezed every ounce of fun out of the week. We started with a home brew of a belgian IPA that should be ready in a matter of weeks. On Tuesday, we flew back to Wisconsin to be in my brother-in-law's wedding. It was epic, and words don't do it justice so enjoy the pictures and captions! We partied hard knowing Dr.H's upcoming rotation is going to be a doozy. It's 10pm, and he has yet to escape the burn floor. I have a feeling I'll be enjoying fall in the mountains alone... First order of business was getting in our favorite eats. This place has the BEST scones ever. We enjoyed beers at the terrace for lunch with the bride & groom. Dr. H got his Wisconsin inspired brat burger. Layers from bottom to top- brat, burger, cheese. We biked to our hearts content. Madison has an extensive bike path system, and it's so easy to cruise from one side of town to the other. Biking by the capitol building. We did urban camping. A hotel for a week clashes with residency budget & we love to sleep outside! This campground was a 30min bike ride from downtown. It was a drastic change from the typical backpacking experience of hiking all day & crashing at 8pm- we biked to camp anywhere from 9pm to 1am. My all time favorite thing about Madison is a landscape like this is only a 30min bike ride away. Biking to the wedding! 1 hour later, I'm all cleaned up! The wedding was at the Majestic theatre in Madison- a beautiful and historic venue. The groom is in the middle, and his 2 swim buddies from high school along for the ride. The bride & groom start their pictures. The bride in her stunning dress. The best moment of the day was when a cute little girl walked by & said, "Mommy look at the girl's beautiful white dress"! The bridesmaids attending, & the bride trying to track down the MIA member of the bridal party. Dr. Hottie (living up to his blog name) & I looking unusually nice. Pictures at the terrace. Dancing 'til we drop. In all honesty, I don't remember this picture happening... My last day in town I went to my lovely sister-in-law's baby shower. She is seriously a bad ass pregnant woman.
"Deprivation of running may result in withdrawal symptoms of psychological distress for consistent runners who rely on running as a coping strategy for stress reduction and who feel dependent upon the psychological reinforcements of running" (Chan & Grossman 1988).
The take-away of this study? Don't take running away from people who need it or they turn into cranky *ssholes. This week I was reminded of why I typically avoid big races. I can't stand the post-race blues. I'm irritable and withdrawn. I tried to find a job that allows me to run/hike in the mountains all day. I could be a Ridge Runner on the AT...but that would require me making peace with the bears. I've always battled post-race lows for as long as I can remember. It usually consists of 3 weeks of being near miserable, until I can start training again. I can't imagine how bad it must be for athletes post-Olympics. Bob Bowman, coach of Michael Phelps, actually brought it up in a recent interview. I think it's safe to say there are a lot of endurance athletes out there who are exercise addicts. We happen to have an addiction that is positive...most of the time. You often hear of drug addicts turning to running or triathlon in recovery. It's merely switching a destructive addiction for a constructive one. Although I will always experience some post-race blues (it's physiology after all), I do have a few tricks up my sleeve to help me get through it. 1) Gain a new perspective. I like to plan a big trip and/or see family in my time off from training. It keeps my mind off of the lack of structure & makes me appreciate the extra time to see friends and family. 2) Make a plan. Most of us cherish the training plan (whether its on paper or just in your head). After a couple days of rest, I scribble down a list of possible races for next season as well as an off-season training plan. 3) Stay active. Recovery-yes, sedentary behavior-no. A lot of athletes associate recovery with having to be on the couch. No wonder crazy starts to set in after 24 hours. Go for a cruise on your bike, take a walk/hike, go to yoga class, and/or try a new sport for the 1st time. We did it. We're alive to tell the tale. Dr. Hottie & I finished the Katcina Mosa 100km mountain race. We slogged through the 62+ miles and 17,000 ft. of climbing in 18 hours and 59 minutes. Here are the details in FULL disclosure. RACE PREP: The days before the race went really well. Miraculously, Dr. Hottie didn't get called in to the hospital overnight the whole week. That had to be a good sign. Friday night before the race, we set up camp ~1 mile from the race start. Dr.H had 4 other peeps from General Surgery doing the race. They're seasoned ultra-runners, and we fed off their stress-free energy. I slept about 1 hour before a 1:30am wake up call. MILES 0-16: 3am start. It was dark & cool. People were chatty. The 1st big climb was on dirt road and not steep. I felt great, and looking back I probably should have slowed the hell down. The best part was dawn- we saw the outline of all the mountain passes to come- beautiful. MILES 16-23ish: BIG, STEEP climb up to 9500 feet. It kicked my butt, but we were still having fun. The early part of the climb was in a dried out creek bed with wildflowers galore, and the second part of the climb was along a ridge with the most unbelievable views. We were feeling good, had lots of company, and took pics. The downhill was steep, rocky, and I hit my 1st low. Just as I started to whimper and feel sorry for myself, I tripped over a rock and ate dirt. Blood, dirt, puffy knee, and some rocks in my mouth. Sweet. MILES 23-30: 3rd big climb of the day. Most of the way up was on loose sheet rock. I considered lying down & having Dr.H roll me up the hill. We finally hit the aid station at the top, & one of the volunteers said, "You're almost 1/2 way". Thankfully, I had my sunglasses on- because I definitely cried for about 60 seconds. MILES 30-40: Probably our best section. Dr.H took the lead, and I just focused on following his feet. It was downhill on dirt and not very steep. We hit the aid station at mile 40, passed a number of people, and saw friends. I had my first red bull, and it was like a divine magic potion. Too bad the energy boost only lasts ~2 miles. MILES 40-52: Pure evil. Out of the 17,000 ft. of climbing, 13k of it is in the 1st half of the race. What no one tells you is that 4k from miles 30-62 feels the same as 13k from miles 0-30. This was truly my lowest point of the race. 12 miles of rolling rocky dirt road. I twisted my ankle a number of times, and started feeling sick when I ate what felt like the 100th shot block of the day. If you don't like bowel movement stories- skip to the last section NOW. I hadn't pooped all day, and I finally felt like I might need to go. I ditched into the woods to pop a squat, and to my horror I realized I was really constipated. After about 10 minutes, I was still sitting there with 1/2 a terd out of my body and 1/2 still in- WTF?! So I wiped as best I could, and decided to continue on my way- feeling that *amn terd every step of the way. I was low on calories heading into the aid station- I downed a couple of potatoes dipped in salt, and nothing has ever tasted so good. MILES 52-62ish: 4 miles downhill on trail, 6 miles downhill on the road. At this point, I knew we would finish, I just didn't know how long it would take us. We were actually able to "run" most of the 4 miles on trail. We hit the road at 8:20pm. All we had to do was hold 15min mile pace, and we could dip under 19 hours. We ran for about 5 minutes, until every ache was magnified by about 100 from running on the road. We switched to granny speed walking. The last mile we got lost- it was dark, I was delirious- thank God one of Dr.H's co-residents caught up to us and got us going in the right direction again. Finish line = sweet victory. The race director gave us both a hug and Dr.H's co-workers were there cheering for us. It's a moment I won't ever forget- I just wish I had been more coherent to enjoy it.
POST-RACE: I cleaned up as best I could with baby wipes and a sink- then crawled into our tent for 8 hours of blissful and achy sleep. The next morning, we stopped at a diner for breakfast with the group, and bacon tasted heavenly. I have to give a huge shout-out to the general surgery residents (and 1 attending) who kicked butt (one of the residents won it, and another had never run further than 15 miles before the race). They refuse to let 80 hour work weeks get in the way, and their mental toughness is unflappable. In hindsight, we definitely made some rookie mistakes, but after 3 failed attempts @ making it to the start line of an ultra endurance event & more than one doctor telling me "some people's bodies just aren't able to go that long- I am elated. Now recovery...and secretly planning the next one ;-) Tomorrow marks 30 years of being alive. The big 3-0. I'll celebrate by attempting to run 62 miles, because I certainly won't be able to when I turn 60. Enjoy the list of life lessons from the last decade of youth. And don't miss the pictures at the end of a Saturday escape from the evil pager in Provo Canyon.
1. 30 is not that much older then 20- I honestly feel no different. 2. Graduating college = confusion not adulthood. 3. Connections & good jobs are directly related-- I should have been schmoozing not studying so damn hard. 4. My 20's were no time for children. Medical marriage, you are the elephant in the room. 5. Stress gets you nowhere. 6. Most of the answers to big life questions come very slowly & in waves. 7. Things are just things- be thankful for health and family. 8. How to boil water- and years later how to cook edible food. 9. I can't live without a daily dose of exercise. 10. How to make sacrifices for loved ones. Like big ones that really sting. 11. Home is wherever Dr. Hottie is. 12. -30 degrees F is too cold for me. 13. You will never have success in sports without your head on straight. 14. You can't tell anyone what to do- everyone is entitled to their own unique journey. 15. The happy medium between being bored and too busy/overwhelmed is REALLY hard to find. 16. How to be present. 17. You can learn something of value from every person (ok...like 99% of people). 18. Running in nature is my church. God & His creations, community, and guidance. 19. More time out of my comfort zone = a more meaningful life. 20. I won't feel grown up when I turn 30! If you've been a frequent blog reader, you likely know my obsession with type 2 fun. If you're new to the show read up on the idea here. Physical journeys/adventures/races that push you to your limit = type 2 fun. Like one of my favorite adventurers, Jennifer Pharr Davis, once said, "there is something incredibly healing and powerful about consistent, forward, physical motion". Amen sister.
I just finished reading a book that takes the cake when it comes to "type 2 fun adventures". In Tim Cope's book, On the Trail of Genghis Khan, he recounts his 3.5 year journey from Mongolia to Hungary (a measly 10,000km)...on horseback! Tim is Australian, yet feels an intense draw towards experiencing the life of a nomad. The Mongol Empire was the largest in history. The nomadic warriors rode horseback through anything from extreme heat and cold across the endless steppe to sketchy mountain passes in modern day Ukraine and Hungary. So, roughly 800 years after the fact- why not attempt the journey again (minus the mass killing)?! Tim thought it was a good idea. The book took me almost a year to read- I put it down for about 6 months, because I got so frustrated with all the red tape that delayed Tim's journey. It's safe to say I would never have the patience to attempt anything like Tim did. Despite the frustrations, the book really changed me. Here are my 3 big take-aways: 1) Never ever give up! Ok, we've heard this for ages- but reading a story like this one makes you actually believe it. Tim planned for his journey to take 18 months; it ended up taking 3.5 years. In an interview, he recalls the moment where he surrendered himself to the trek. He likened the moment to the saying, "if you have to rush somewhere in life, be sure to rush slowly". The journey was in control. not Tim. On numerous occasions, he gets held up for months at a time. In Kazakhstan, he was stuck in a washed up oil rig town (for 3 months) due to extreme winter weather and illness. And at practically every country border, he was held up by bureaucratic rules about transporting animals. Somehow, he always found a way to keep going. Just keep going. one. step. at. a. time. 2) Animals are truly amazing. Through the majority of Tim's journey, he travels with 3 horses and one dog. I literally became obsessed with his dog, Tigon, and almost cried when I learned he was initially not able to bring the dog back to Australia. He describes how the animals became his family. They were with him all day, every day; gave him purpose; and gave him strength he didn't know he had to finish the trek. I love my cat, but I SO want a dog! You'll be happy to know, Tim had a fundraiser in Australia to raise the necessary $10,000 (yea you read that right) to bring Tigon to Australia. 3) There is no I in TEAM. Without the help of countless individuals along the 10,000km journey, Tim would most certainly have headed for home within days of starting. Strangers fed him, took care of his animals, set him up with guides through rough terrain, and doled out invaluable advice. He still keeps in touch with many of the individuals who made his journey possible. I am so the type of person absolutely convinced I can plow through anything with no help from anyone. I don't want to burden others, and I see receiving help as a sign of weakness. When I'm backed into a deep dark corner and am forced to seek out help, I'm always amazed by how much easier the task is with help. Success in life boils down to hard work, persistence, and building a team around you. Last big weekend of training was bittersweet. Saturday = bitter, Sunday = sweet. The plan for Saturday was 15 miles and 6-7k feet of climbing. The planned route quickly got derailed, and we ended up doing mountain repeats in 90 degree heat with the sun beating down on us. We were low on nutrition, and our only saving grace was an ice cold creek at the bottom of the mountain that we used to cool off between repeats. The end result was 20 miles, 6.5k feet of climbing, & too many hours in the heat. As we were on the tail end of our death march, in attempt to make Dr.H laugh- I came up with a fun analogy. How long runs in the pain cave = life span of marriage.
1) Start of run = honeymoon phase. Excitement, naivety, giddy with possibilities. 2) Mid-run = kids + life-building phase. Plan for perfect run/life inevitably goes south. We bicker over who has the better back-up plan. Stressful, so we don't even realize how well we're doing. 3) Late-run = empty nester + retirement phase. We're both too tired to talk or fight. We alternate hitting lows & taking care of each other. We start taking immense pleasure in the small things (shade, cold water...CARBS). Enjoy the one picture we got post pain cave + all the Sunday sweet pics. Friday through Sunday of the holiday weekend, Dr. Hottie was on home call. This means he must be able to get to the hospital within 20-30 minutes if needed. Admittedly, it sort of feels like house arrest. The mountains and all of its adventures are calling- and also happen to be 30-60 minutes away- before you even hit the trailhead. We're not really city folk, and I had a hard time coming up with things to do close to home. The second challenge is that, whatever you do should take one hour or less- if it's longer than that you will inevitably be interrupted by the evil pager. So in trying to avoid the black hole that is self-pity, here's the start of a list of short bursts of activity that can be done close to home.
1. Hill repeats: we found out it only takes ~5 around these parts until you want to puke. 2. Have a pool day: that just happens to be a 90 second bike ride from the hospital. 3. Make a fun summer-themed dessert to share: that only takes ~30 minutes to make. 4. Have an evening picnic at the neighborhood park: but make sure you have a quick escape plan if/when the sprinklers turn on (at least we don't mind water...) 5. Watch your favorite TV shows on netflix: Because the only show I can hold out & only watch with Dr.H is about a scary serial killer (check out Dexter- but don't watch alone). So yea, instead of a glorious 3 day holiday weekend trip- we worked on surviving call weekends. What are holidays again ?!?!! The past couple weeks have been filled with running, getting into the swing of a new gig, and doing all things summer. There have been parties, seeing old friends and making new ones, and PLENTY of sunshine (hello sunscreen). We did our annual summer vodka infusions for friends, and they turned out amazing as always- please, please never buy marshmallow vodka from the store- gross. You can make so many good ones yourself. Since coming clean and admitting that we are in fact training for a 100k trail running race, I've been pretty quiet about it. I had no idea how my body would respond- I almost didn't make it past the first couple weeks. We're now 1 month out from race day, and I just might make it to the start line. If I get the chance to hit the start line healthy and excited, it's going to come down to getting one foot in front of the other- for about 20 hours- and staying mentally strong. You'll have to drag me off the course kicking, screaming, and nearly dead before I give up.
We just hit our biggest mileage weekend last week. Saturday we woke up early, headed up one of the canyons and knocked out the most beautiful 20 miles of my life. We ran up on what the locals call "the crest". Most of it is at about 10,000 feet so you can only run it snow free for a few short months. On the trail, you see mountain lakes, countless peaks, and just when you think there isn't anything else to see- you hit a spot where you can see all of Park City and the ski slopes. It was one of those runs where you feel 100% alive and in the moment. The next day we did 10 trail miles in the heat (85-90 degrees). I was so excited my body let me run 30 miles in 24 hours- I wanted to do it again the next day. Then Dr.Hottie threw reality in my face and reminded me that's how I've gotten injured time and time again. So I'm wallowing in the recovery days, shorter runs & swims, and patiently waiting to get in our last big weekend- 1 long easy run and 1 long run with 6-8k feet of climbing. Waiting, wishing, hoping... And how could I forget- I'm losing my first toenail from running (last picture for the brave readers). Sweet! This guy... is no longer the pond scum of doctors. Intern year is over. He's a PGY2 (post grad year 2). There's a lot of ways to say it, but the short of it is- we survived year 1! I'm honestly not sure how Dr.Hottie survives the continuous beating that is getting up at 4am- working until 7,8, sometimes 10pm- and then repeating for up to 2-3 weeks without a day off. What I can share are some tips on surviving residency as the significant other/spouse. The tips I read on other medical blogs have been crucial in my survival so time to pay it forward-
1) Adjust your expectations: The pessimistic way of writing this would be to expect nothing. I think that's a bit harsh (but sometimes is reality). Through undergrad and medical school, if I needed help running an errand, studying for a test, or anything requiring mental/emotional support Dr.H was there. These days, that just doesn't happen. 20-30 minutes before bed is a luxury. Get used to doing things alone- you'll get used to it, and start thriving in how strong and independent you can be when necessity calls. Don't hesitate in asking for help (still working on this one- give me a break- I'm Swedish after all...). 2) Don't wish this time away: There's 5 years left of residency. On the really bad days, I'm tempted to start a countdown on the fridge, but wishing 5 years of your life to go by fast is problematic. The fact is, fellowship and the first several years of practice aren't going to be any better time-wise so you have to find ways to enjoy the day-to-day. Get really excited about the days off- go an adventure- get unplugged- plan really fun vacations. In terms of the money woes, I sometimes lie to myself and pretend that residency salary is it- no big pay raise to look forward to- could I still be happy in life? It helps me be thankful for the free things in life (exercise, mother nature, family) and what we do have (who needs double vanities? at least we have a functioning toilet and 4 walls to keep bears out). 3) Have your own identity and be patient: When I'm unloading the dishwasher, grocery shopping, cleaning, and doing laundry for the umpteenth time in a row (gahh!!), I take solace in having projects and friends that are my own. Even though most of the time it's all about Dr.H, some of the time has to be mine or I would go crazy. Finally, be patient! Being a trailing spouse is hard- it takes time to establish roots in a new place, meet the right people, and find the best job(s). Usually I put enormous amounts of pressure on myself to figure EVERYTHING out in record time, but that habit in combination with medical marriage would put me in the ground 20 years earlier than intended. No more. Dr. Hottie- so proud of you. Let's keep doing this dance until you're the biggest, baddest surgeon around... and don't complain when I order you to exercise- it's for your own good. |