So why Dr. So & So's wife as a title? I read a fantastic book- "Surviving Residency: a medical spouse guide to embracing the training years". In one of my fav sections the author, Kristen Math, suggests medical spouses will often be in the shadow of their significant other career wise. The ultimate message was to not stress about finding a career path that "outshines" your spouse. Go in the direction that provides happines!s for you , because others will always seek comfort and simplicity in labeling you as "Dr. So & So's wife". I have been with Dr. Hottie through medical school and now the start of surgery residency, and I find this experience to be quite true. When we were looking for places to live in UT, the landlords would ask Dr. Hottie what he did- he would dutifully answer-"I'm a surgery resident". They would proceed to have a conversation about all the Dr.'s they knew or some strange ailment their grandma had surgery for. Then they would look at me- a 5 second awkward silence would commence- and that was the end of that. I know friends and acquaintances don't peg me in a corner to be mean- it's just what's simple and comfortable. To others I will always be, "Dr. So & So's wife". The upside is there's no pressure in my career path. I can dabble in being a scientist, athlete, and coach without anyone's expectations but my own. At the end of the day I find comfort in this- my spirit is complex & always changing- the labels others define me by are just that- construed labels. I will continue to find the path of least resistance- take the comments in stride-but ultimately find strength in who I know I am.